In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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