The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
