Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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