i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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