Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
