my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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