Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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