Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
