we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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