Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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