Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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(630): View more from Illinois

yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.

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(206): View more from Washington

The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me

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(310): View more from California

Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday

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