I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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