i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
