I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
