I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
