I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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