All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize