If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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