Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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