I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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