It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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