I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
