Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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