yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
