If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
