i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
