im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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