Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
