dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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