i just wanna soil my oats bro
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize