So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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