It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
