I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
