Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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