He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
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Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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