Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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