I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
