She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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