sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
