Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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