His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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