Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We had sex on a dog bed..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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