Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
