i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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