Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize