yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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