May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
