Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
