O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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