dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
whose parrot is this?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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