i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Still dying that you shit outside
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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