i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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