4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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