i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
