1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
