Cold hands, warm shart.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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