Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I stole a fireplace last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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