singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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