Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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